WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT DUCK?

Last weekend AFL legend Wayne Carey suggested that Sam Mitchell would struggle to get a game with any of the other 17 teams. I’m pretty sure Wayne knew he had said something fairly dubious when his usual cheerleaders Ling, Cometti, Richardson and McAvaney all distanced themselves from him quicker than kids dodging dad when he rocks the joggers/jeans/tucked in shirt combo . It must have killed Bruce to not to be able to gush over “The Duck”, and I longed to hear him say things like. “You just get the feeling you may have really cocked up there Duck.” Or “What are the chances your Twitter account being bombarded with vitriol and ridicule eh?”

To The Kings credit he backtracked on his initial opinion and even called Mitchell later to clear the air. It takes a big man to admit when he is in the wrong and over the years Carey has proved he is massive, whether it be sexually harassing an innocent passer by, knocking off your best mates wife, glassing your then girlfriend or pretending to like Damien Barrett. But like any elite athlete, they have the unique ability to put one scandal behind them and move on to the next.

It wasn’t just Carey who made waves with his comments last week, former Essendon full forward Matthew Lloyd said that in the last ten years no one has had as much impact as Dyson Heppell’s first 100 games, within minutes social media went into a frenzy putting up names such as Franklin,Selwood and Fyfe to name a few. “The Velvet Sledgehammer” then added he meant the most impact at Essendon over the last ten years, so I guess Alwyn Davey’s career means nothing to you Matthew, you zombie looking version of Tom Cruise.

Saying something coherent, Mission Impossible

Dustin Martin conceded a fifty metre penalty when he squirted water from his drink bottle on an opponent, I think the umpires over officiated on this occasion and what is needed is a feel for the game. I once was given the benefit of the doubt by a wise old ump when my rival was lying motionlessly at my feet while the footy was up the other end of the ground, the easy decision would be to assume that I had caused his unconsciousness but an umpire who understands the game would realise that a man in his late 50’s who hasn’t played in more than twenty years probably collapsed from a heart attack. Whether me punching him in the back caused that heart attack was never proven, but it caused the question to be asked at a league level why a senior citizen was playing a reserves match due to lack of player numbers in country football. I don’t want to toot my own horn but it was my irrational volcanic anger that started the conversation.

A mate last week kept harassing me to watch Carlton play Hawthorn on Friday night, it made me feel like when you have that person in your group who is always trying to show you disturbing YouTube clips that involve either people putting things inside them or taking things out.

Mick Malthouse said on Adelaide radio this week that he would be open to the idea of coaching the Crows if they made contact with him. There is more chance of a TV network airing my as yet unseen documentary “Luff And Other Catastrophes” the untold story of Troy Luff. Mick should find the nearest Men’s Shed and start making rocking horses for underprivileged children that are unfortunate to get given rocking horses.

 

- The Lone Ruckman