That’s what Pies president Eddie McGuire has told a gathering of the great undead, better known as the Collingwood 2015 season launch. When pressed on what other predictions he had, McGuire stated:

Scotland can win the Cricket World Cup.

In the next 12 months Samantha Armitage won’t feature in a woman’s magazine about one of the following

  1. Sam’s body image issues
  2. Sam’s search for Mr Right
  3. Sam’s feud with everyone.


News Kevin Sheedy has returned to Essendon this week is fantastic news for the Bombers, Sheedy’s newly created position is General Manager for Commercial Development and Innovation. Which in laymen speak means we will pay you more than GWS to come back and help make people like us.

On the flip side, the Giants will now rely on free prostate examinations at Skoda Stadium to bring in the crowds. I believe that’s how Tom Scully’s dad stays on the payroll.

Watching the Hawks v Kangaroos game last week in Shepparton, I devised a new drinking game. Every time Danny “spud” Frawley agreed with a comment with the phrase. “Correct Weight”, I had to skul beer. By half way through the second quarter a mate and I had decided to go into business together breeding miniature wombats. By the final quarter the beer goggles were well and truly on and I developed a strong attraction to Kitty from the Progressive Online Car Insurance ads.

It’s great that regional towns are hosting most of the games in the NAB challenge and I’m sure the half time activities involve keen young Auskickers showing great skill, but I would like to see the sport of Grant Denyer tossing introduced to at least one game per weekend. Banning the sport only drives it underground and as long as St Kilda don’t set him alight its good wholesome family fun.

Reports earlier in the week that boom rookie Jessie Hogan missed training due to a concern over pain in his foot caused Dees fans to rock themselves to sleep in the foetal position, luckily when they awoke it was just precautionary and not serious.

New Gold Coast Suns coach Rodney Eade urged his young team not to rely on Garry Ablett so much, tens of thousands of Super Coachers were heard to tell Rocket to shut his word hole.

Some games of interest this weekend include:

Geelong v Adelaide:

Patrick Dangerfield has asked Crows coaching staff if he can prepare and warm up with Cats players.

Richmond v Port Adelaide:

Tigers get the chance to avenge their humiliating thrashing in last year’s finals series to Port and even if they lose, the bus trip home from Albury isn’t as long.

Carlton v Collingwood:

These two sides share a mutual hatred of each other, much like the cast of The Golden Girls where legend has it Bea Arthur once spat in Betty White’s mouth.