The Lone Ruckman

Do you like football?

Do you like to laugh?

Do you like the TV show “Embarrassing Bodies”?

If you answered yes to those three questions than you will enjoy the comical stylings of The Lone Ruckman, remember that loud opinionated drunk at your local footy club you moved interstate to avoid? Well know bring that failed has-been into your lounge room, your office or even your bathroom if you read your phone whilst on the throne.

Aussie Rules football is a serious game, played and commented on by serious people. Sometimes you just want someone to shine a light on what Tom Scully is up to in retirement….(what?, he’s still..oh) or the origins of a Turducken? Was is a drunken barnyard swingers party gone wrong?

If you want to walk in to your local on a Friday night and take credit for thinking up the nickname for Port Adelaide’s Tom “It’s not unusual” Jonas, you need to read The Lone Ruckman.

Can’t get enough of 1980’s comedy movie references when reading about AFL football? Here we seamlessly link the latest nude selfie scandal to the dark undertones of “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

Do you often think, “We read so much about Fyfe, Ablett and Buddy, where is my weekly updates on Cameron Wood? What’s Campbell Brown greasing himself up for now or what’s Jack Watts biggest regret in life besides taking up playing footy?”

During the footy season, you the reader will get to decide what you want to read about in YOUR game, and much like the AFL I will ignore you and write about things that amuse me, like how Herald Sun chief footy writer Mark Robinson starts off most conversations with; “I wrote something in the paper today Gerard, not sure if you read it?” Or paying Mick Malthouse to water artificial turf to make him feel us useful.